Plain Vanilla

freewrite.txt

2009-11-14T00:18:59Z

I found this in a forgotten folder on my computer:

too depressed to sleep, too depressed to work.
my blurred eyes are already hurt.

neuroses created, neuroses underground
full of these things, but can't make a sound.

trying today, can't find a way
to release these illusions,
they're here to stay.

my mind's hitting red-line
it's far from the ground.

even when it screams,
it won't make a sound.

but it continues to struggle,
not quite sure why.

too much trouble breathing
up here in the sky.

not much point in creating
never good enough

fuck all this nonsense
and the silly stuff.

people surrounding,
they never really care.

that every time I suck in,
there's too little air.

good times squashed
by too much nonsense

time spent with me
can be quite dense.

gaurd let down, and packed tight away
to be quickly returned 'cause of what people say.

don't want to care, but have no choice
will is too weak, just like my voice.

nothing to say

2008-07-24T22:15:27Z

nothing at all

(actually that's not true. I have a lot to say right now, I'm either too lazy to put it down, or I'm afraid of what it might be.)

'nother one

2008-07-24T08:07:45Z

because I have nothing better to do.

wasting away

2008-07-24T05:43:29Z

while getting fat.

I've been mostly sitting and watching TV/fooling around online, I've also been sick which is why i've been land locked however I've also been in a funk lately so being sick probably didn't change much.

but whatever. New flash doodle. Alright baby....

math

2008-05-10T18:55:26Z

this is what me and my math major buddies to when we don't want to be doing math.

I know.

amazing.

so I had a romantic life

2008-05-04T10:54:20Z

it revolved around a girl named alison.

according to her, she doesn't care about me enough anymore to be in a romantic relationsihp with me. I don't know what to do.

I think I'll create Noah's second flood with my tears.

god I wish I wasn't such a fucking pussy.

tyler came home late last night

2008-04-04T22:46:42Z

and brought his fellow guitar center employees plus some girls. All loud. at 3am. (last night was thursday)

So he left me a sorry note with a drawing, and I left him a note with a comic saying what I'd do if it happened again.

Here's my re-drawn and digitized version of the comic (arrows and text are substitutes for my poor drawing skills):

i'm uninspired

2008-04-03T05:41:43Z

utterly.

and lonely.

this is the best I've got, and it sucks.

sometimes

2008-04-02T00:35:08Z

sometimes I can't help but feel like charlie brown.

I think I need a soundtrack.

generic_brian @ 2008-03-31T23:56:00

2008-04-01T07:06:46Z

I have trouble shaking the idea that everything bad happening in my or other peoples lives is 100% my fault, despite how untrue it may be.

I know I'm weird. I wish I wasn't. When it comes down to it though, I'm pretty sure I'm the cause of most bad things.

I was pretty depressed today too, until tyler and I got some food from a bad diner, and posted glossy book-drool face posters around haight street. That was pretty fun. I guess.

Now I feel empty again, and don't want to go back to school, or really see anyone for that matter. I dunno, I'm not sure if I said this already, but I'm just weird.

I suck

2008-03-07T08:28:26Z

really bad.

thursday's the new friday

2008-03-07T08:17:57Z

the neighbors are being loud again. but I guess it's barely midnight, and it is a thursday night.

I noticed that one of them drives a new mustang coup. It would be cool, but it's only a 6-banger. I really can't respect anyone who drives a mustang that isn't at least a V-8. The guy might as well have bought a Hoda Accord. The fucking tool.

so here's a horrible attempt at a comic (sortta).

I dunno.

whatever.

Fin.

just

2008-03-06T06:07:31Z

boredom.

and an utter lack of artistic talent.

this

2008-03-03T14:52:19Z

is my prediction for how my day at school is going to go...

my neighbors are great

2008-03-03T13:33:00Z

3:30am I'm woken up by some asshole ringing my neighbor's doorbell like he's trying to will the cross walk to turn green faster. Neighbors are already loud, but I was asleep so it wasn't a thing. After some yelling, door slamming, and muffled proclamations of what I think were "this is my house!!" answered by "I understand that." I finally decide to just wake the fuck up at 4:50. They're still laughing and talking loud. I thought about going down there with my louisville slugger (a relic from my little league days) but have settled for letting my sub-woofer pound on their ceiling via hip hop et al instead.

play

2008-03-03T06:55:19Z

ing with flash.

and my idiocy related to it.

so here's a whole lotta nothing... I used to make weird shit like this all of the time, I'm not sure why I stopped. Even though it always sucked, it was still fun to do.

dig.

We've got cabin fever!

2007-07-18T17:39:06Z

I need a job so I can make money and spend it on glorious nights out/off.

I'm seeing things.

And hearing things.

Mostly ghosts.

I mean like..

2006-12-24T09:42:49Z

these are pretty awesome, right?

(the photos/clogs, not the background)

generic_brian @ 2006-10-17T18:08:00

2006-10-18T01:08:45Z

Thom Yorke considers touring axe

http://www.ateaseweb.com/news/archive/2006/10/thom_yorke_cons.php

Thom Yorke has threatened to quit touring unless measures are introduced to halt the "ridiculous consumption of energy" involved.

Speaking to The Guardian yesterday, Thom vented his fury at the current state of modern-day touring whilst promoting a Friends of The Earth climate change campaign.

"I would consider refusing to tour on environmental grounds, if nothing started happening to change the way the touring operates," Yorke revealed.

"Some of our best ever shows have been in the US, but there's 80,000 people there and they've all been sitting in traffic jams for five or six hours with their engines running to get there, which is bollocks."

As for his own method of transport for reaching distant concert venues, Yorke said: "Long haul flights just feel wrong. I'm trying to figure out a way of getting to Japan by train. I quite fancy that Trans-Siberian whatsitsname but apparently it's a bit scary."

Thom Yorken will call on the government to make UK companies more accountable for their impacts on poor people and the global environment today, in an open letter to MPs in Tuesday’s Guardian.
The letter urges MPs to back amendments to the Companies Bill which would make companies accountable for their social and environmental impacts. The Bill is due to receive its third reading in the House of Commons this week.

The letter references cases concerning Tesco’s workers rights records on fruit farms in South Africa, as well as a recent ActionAid report which detailed alleged environmental and human rights abuses by a subsidiary of UK mining giant Anglo-American at their operation in Ghana.

re-religion-fied, now 21% christian, haha, sick, eh joel?

2006-09-20T06:32:50Z

You scored as agnosticism. You are an agnostic. Though it is generally taken that agnostics neither believe nor disbelieve in God, it is possible to be a theist or atheist in addition to an agnostic. Agnostics don't believe it is possible to prove the existence of God (nor lack thereof). Agnosticism is a philosophy that God's existence cannot be proven. Some say it is possible to be agnostic and follow a religion; however, one cannot be a devout believer if he or she does not truly believe.

</td>

agnosticism

88%

Buddhism

83%

Paganism

79%

Satanism

67%

atheism

50%

Islam

46%

Christianity

21%

Judaism

17%

Hinduism

13%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

generic_brian @ 2006-09-10T16:13:00

2006-09-10T23:14:04Z

nice@!!!

Create your own! Originally Written By ga_woo, Hosted and ReWritten by darkman424

generic_brian @ 2006-06-28T22:58:00

2006-06-29T05:59:37Z

i'm free in a few weeks!!!

story time..

2006-06-12T21:12:21Z

I found an old archive CD from 2001.. it's got stuff (it seems) from 1997-2001 on it, and I found this short story I wrote freshman year, so I thought i'd post it here, like the loser I am.

------------------------
“No body’s Prefect, Right?”
It was as if I woke up for the first time, and yet I had been through the same feeling hundreds of times before that. I tried to look around, but felt that I could not move. I was floating, and could not control where it was I was going. I began to weep, until I felt the presence of someone, this feeling, it is indescribable, unfathomable, and almost enigmatic. It was the most wonderful feeling ever. Since I could not move, you can imagine my dismay as I tried to look for who or what it was that was giving off
this wonderfully ambiguous vibe. I again wept and could not control myself, until I saw it, what was giving off that vibe, don’t ask me how I knew, It was just a feeling. I marveled in its’ magnificence, until I heard a voice, it seemed to be coming from inside of me, to be all around me. It said, "don’t be afraid." It was so great, that I began to weep tears of joy. I did this until it reached out and touched me.
"I am called the ‘finder’ and I have been sent here to help you find ‘the way.’ Your kind are often referred to as the ‘lost one,’ or the ‘beginner’ who needs to be shown where to go, and what to do before… well, we’ll get into that later, first of all, do you have any questions?"
After hearing the finder talk, a million questions came to mind. How could I ask them all, I wondered?
"Just think of them and I will answer them to the best of my ability."
Wow, I thought, this is pretty cool, but since I knew that, if answered, it was implausible to think that I could perceive all of the answers, I would just ask the basics.
"Where is this place, and how and why did I get here?"
"This place is known as a lot of things, the void seems to be the best and most common description. Now, this next part might be kind of hard for you to understand, because you don’t have any memories, just knowledge. Once you had something referred to as a life, you walked around your planet with other beings of your own nature. You were sent here to move one to the next phase, contribute to the universe if you will…"
"Really, does everyone from my world come here, and for what reason are they exiled from the world of which they came?"

" Well… I am getting to that, first of all, you are because you died, and no, not all people come here, because this is what you might call, a rectifying phase, you see, you were what is called a mass murderer, in you world. So you can not go onto the final, serene phase, which is total bliss for all eternity, until you pay your debt to the universe. I am here to help you accomplish and know what you have to do to erase your previous deeds…”
“What? What do I have to do, and how long will it take? Was I really so bad that I have to go through this rectifying phase?”
“Are you finished mindlessly uttering words? Hmmm?”
“Uhhh… yeah, sorry, it’s just a little overwhelming.”
“Yes, I know, you and I, are one in the same. You see, I was what they call on your planet, subordinate, every one would cast me aside, one day some drunken men sluggishly walked over to me, beat me to the point of unconsciousness, and left me for dead. I woke up dizzy from loss of blood, went over to puddle of greasy water on the street, and drank from it. That day I went around like usual, looking for food, mainly in garbage cans. That night was terribly cold, the ground a hard an unforgiving place to lay, and yet I still dreamed, it was beautiful dream, one where I had a family, good food, and a warm place to sleep. It was how it should have been. I got so wrapped up in that dream, that when I woke up, I freaked out. If I could not live in a life where I had at least the basics, then no one around me could live either. I can’t explain what elements were at play, or if it was fate, but I had promised myself to kill the first living thing I saw that morning. It just happened to be a child playing in the grass. I was so crazed that I did not think about my actions. I proceeded to sneak up on him, I lunged towards his throat, poor unsuspecting fool I thought, but at that fateful moment a man walked in front of me, I clamped down on his forearm. He let out a cry so shrill, that I froze, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t relax, I just stayed there, jaws tight, tasting the blood of my poor victim. Why am I doing this, I thought, am I crazy? At that moment, the man tried to pry my jaws apart, and yet I still held on tight, it was like… like something else was controlling me, but just enough to keep me still. The man, finding that this was not working, started pounding my head with a stick, and it was at that moment that I finally let go. I was relieved that I could move again, and despite all of my relief, I looked back at the man, who was calling a couple security guards over to assist him with his flesh wound, and lunged, this time at his throat. It was at that moment that I felt the bullet piercing my esophagus, and one more just barely knick my heart. I fell to the ground, limp, whimpering like a baby, in a pool of my own blood. I looked up, at the man looking over me, I almost believed he was a God, for I seemed to be able to harm him, but not to kill him, and in the end, I was the one who was dead. You see, I then came to this place, as alone and afraid as you are, until someone, like myself to you, came and told me that I had to repay the universe. Not because I had killed, but because, if that man wouldn’t have walked in front of me, I would have killed. Which brings me to what you must do to rectify your self. First, you must help someone, like you, find the way, then, you will go on to the next rectifying phase, to become a planet with life, it’s sort of a positive, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth thing. Instead of you loosing for killing all of those beings, you will, in a way, replace those lives lost. By doing the most rewarding thing ever, supporting life, and when you, as a planet dies, you will go on the final phase, of serenity, and peace for all eternity.”
I was breathless, it wasn’t only from the words, but from all of the feelings that were being emitted from the finder. I couldn’t believe that he went through all that.
“So, am I ready to help another lost one?”
“Well, that depends, do you feel ready?”
“Yes.”
“Then off with you, you will be carried by a force unlike any other, and will learn all that you need on the way, good luck, and God speed.”
Though the finder had no face, or expression, I could feel him shed a single tear, and at that moment of remorse that I felt, he was gone, and I was traveling, on what I cannot tell you, but everything was moving fast. It was at that time when I started remembering my life. I saw all of the faces of the fish I killed in the pond, the birds in the trees, and the mice on the ground. Then I saw my accomplice, or owner, Mrs. White, she had such a loving face, and when ever I killed, she would just shake her head, laugh, and say “Silly cat,” then she would proceed to bury the bodies in the back yard. I wanted to reflect on my life more, but didn’t have the chance, for I sensed a feeling of distress, and utter loneliness, emitting off of something. It was then that I knew what I had to do, so I called out, “don’t be afraid.”

my god!

2006-06-07T16:50:29Z

the phone has never been, and I guess never will be, my fucking friend.

jesus christ.

just ring back!

generic_brian @ 2005-12-13T18:10:00

2005-12-14T02:10:39Z